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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: paint for me...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: suicidalacts72
    ASL Info:    20/f/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 189/150/69
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 458
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 391



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspaint for me...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    paint me a picture,
    paint it with your blood,
    from open veins,
    a messed up childhood.

    paint me a pretty picture,
    i won't make a sound,
    cut deeper and deeper,
    my worlds already upside down.

    paint me a pretty picture,
    cut me till i die,
    but don't forget when it's over,
    you bled me dry




    Submitted on 2009-04-26 16:44:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      this poem was awesome and some people may say it was disturbing but I don't think so. When you wrote about the blood and cutting open a vain your showing the reader just how much pain you are feeling. Anyone can say the words I am in pain but you showed the reader what level of pain you were feeling which makes you talented. The ending of this poem

    "but don't forget when it's over,
    you bled me dry"

    I definately believe that you left the reader in aww when you stated that ending. On a more personal note though I think those ending lines also mean that in the end you will blame someone and you do blame someone. Thanks for writing this peice I really loved it and it was enjoyable not repulsive or disturbing but wonderfully descriptive.
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by captureyourself | [ Reply to This ]
      your in pain. dont let them drown you in your blood. dont give them the staisfation of overpowering your emotions. take control. i really enjoyed reading it..keep writing
    | Posted on 2009-05-04 00:00:00 | by joezwells | [ Reply to This ]
      obviously thers a dark space and i am disturbed but at least you evoked an emotion!
    miggy
    | Posted on 2009-04-27 00:00:00 | by miggy | [ Reply to This ]
      Very relateable. A message to your parents? A boyfriend? I think that you should develop this peice extend it, and don't be afraid to use words that aren't as obvious as rhymes.

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2009-04-27 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]


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