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    dots Submission Name: I'm Finedots

    Author: Rubesangel
    ASL Info:    16/female/ LehighAcers Fl
    Elite Ratio:    2.06 - 8/13/25
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 585
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 826


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'm Finedots

    It's gone
    What's gone? My mind?
    Soul? No, I'm fine
    Not really
    Deep inside, something is missing
    The love and tender kissing
    He walked out hiself
    Now all I do is talk to myself
    in the mirror, with my reflection
    My heart is dead
    Soon it will make a resurrection
    Once the wounds heal
    And I'm loved for real
    A type of love I can feel
    But nobody loves me
    Nobody cares
    Nobody loves me
    That nobody is me
    I can't love myself because no one does
    I'm all alone and no longer what I once was
    But the only thing that keeps me alive
    Is knowing that the next day, it might all change
    For the best
    And that "nobody" becomes somebody

    Submitted on 2009-04-27 13:38:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      thanks for adding one of my poems as your fav. thats means so much. now your poetry...wow. at frist it seemed a little confusing...but then you took all your thoughts and strung them together. so props for doing that. being a teenager in love is hard. i know that because watching him walk away and go home for two weeks nearly kills me inside( my bf lives in ocala,fl. which isn't close to tampa.) i hate watching his car drive off but to help me get through it i remeber he will be back soon.
    always remeber they may walk out on you but sometimes they come back.
    | Posted on 2009-10-06 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      it is a pretty good poem. I like how you play with words. "nobody cares/ nobody loves me/ that nobody is me". Are you aware that by those three lines you let your readers think that you love and that you care about yourself? It is a very interesting turn you took by saying that "that nobody is me", just that the next line contradicts everything, since you are saying that you can not love yourself. Considering the ending of your poem, you most probably meant to say that you feel like you are a nobody. What about: "because I am nobody" instead of "that nobody is me"? Or if you want to keep the idea that somewhere deep inside, you actually feel love for yourself, change the line after for "But it is hard to love myself because no one does". Well, that's the little contradiction in your poem, but otherwise you expressed very well your feelings in this poem. One more thing about "I can't love myself because no one does": it is true that the love you have for yourself and the loves others have for you are tightly linked together. But keep in mind that the opposite is also possible; if you love yourself others will love you too. Actually is more than possible, it is what you have to do in order to avoid a downward spiral. Learn to love yourself. First find love for yourself and then the love you are longing for will come to you. You don't have to look for love somewhere else than in your own heart. Others love for you is in YOUR heart, not in theirs.
    Love, Laura
    | Posted on 2009-04-28 00:00:00 | by ChaoticLaurel | [ Reply to This ]

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