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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What Would He Givedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Frank Maguire
    ASL Info:    52 / UK
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 1727/1248/246
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 145
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 626



    Description:
       Some thoughts.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat Would He Givedots
    -------------------------------------------


    What would he give, to spend time with
    His one true love on high
    To once again, stroll through the glen
    Where they kissed a fond goodbye
    What thoughts unfold, to have and hold
    His bonnie lass so fair
    As he will keep, his love so deep
    In his heart, so growing there

    What would he say, if come the day
    They meet by deed or fate
    Could he bestow, and clearly show
    His feelings, with no debate
    What could he do, to show her true
    His love so pure divine
    Will grow on high, to never die
    And last till end of time




    Submitted on 2009-04-28 19:17:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Ron.
    You have another treasure here, Frank!

    I will ruin the upbeat mood and pick a nit that bothers me:
    "As he will keep, his love so deep
    In his heart, so growing there"
    I'm not getting the 'so growing'. Is it to mean 'still growing'?

    At any rate, I enjoyed the poem.
    And I think you will find the answer if fate offers up the opportunity to you.
    There's plenty in your heart to give, and I have no doubt you'd find a way to give your love your all.
    Lucky lass!
    | Posted on 2009-05-02 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      I especially liked the opening stanza:


    "What would he give, to spend time with
    His one true love on high
    To once again, stroll through the glen
    Where they kissed a fond goodbye"

    What man among us has not searched in "The Land Of Marr" for the lost love, clinging to the wind, that we carelessly let go many years ago!

    Your poetic works are always a treasure, my talented friend!
    | Posted on 2009-04-30 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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