I love the Sound of Thunder by bluecrane

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Submission Name: I love the Sound of Thunder dots

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Author:	bluecrane
ASL Info:	19/F/WASHINGTON
Elite Ratio:	3.61 - 70/83/26
Words:	105

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	825
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	621

Description:

I love the Sound of Thunder dots

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I hear the wind cry from the west
A blanket of darkness covers the sky
I know this feeling better than best
The lightning flashes bright in my eyes

I love the sound of thunder

I feel the road beneath the wheels
I drive for miles in the dark
The windows are down, the chill I can feel
I hear the rumble of my car

I love the sound of thunder

The air is still, as still can be
I'm laying in your arms
I hear the pounding melody
The beating of your heart

I love the sound of thunder

Submitted on 2009-04-29 01:03:42 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
So do I, its fantastic. I like this, its simple and beautiful. Your constant us of simple verbs like "I hear" "I feel" is effective particularly "I feel the road beneath the wheels". If I may make a few suggestions;

The air is still, as still can be
We promise not to part
I hear the pounding melody
The beating of your heart

Strictly if this is a vivid fantasy and nothing real or personal to you

I feel the road beneath the wheels
I drive miles throughout the dark
The windows down, that chilly feel
The stark rumbling of my car

Again they're just suggestions
Nicely done!

- Sethesin
| Posted on 2009-04-29 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.