Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I love the Sound of Thunderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bluecrane
    ASL Info:    19/F/WASHINGTON
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 70/83/26
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 79
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 621



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI love the Sound of Thunderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hear the wind cry from the west
    A blanket of darkness covers the sky
    I know this feeling better than best
    The lightning flashes bright in my eyes

    I love the sound of thunder

    I feel the road beneath the wheels
    I drive for miles in the dark
    The windows are down, the chill I can feel
    I hear the rumble of my car

    I love the sound of thunder

    The air is still, as still can be
    I'm laying in your arms
    I hear the pounding melody
    The beating of your heart

    I love the sound of thunder




    Submitted on 2009-04-29 01:03:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So do I, its fantastic. I like this, its simple and beautiful. Your constant us of simple verbs like "I hear" "I feel" is effective particularly "I feel the road beneath the wheels". If I may make a few suggestions;

    The air is still, as still can be
    We promise not to part
    I hear the pounding melody
    The beating of your heart

    Strictly if this is a vivid fantasy and nothing real or personal to you

    I feel the road beneath the wheels
    I drive miles throughout the dark
    The windows down, that chilly feel
    The stark rumbling of my car

    Again they're just suggestions
    Nicely done!

    - Sethesin
    | Posted on 2009-04-29 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.