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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I love the Sound of Thunderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bluecrane
    ASL Info:    19/F/WASHINGTON
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 70/83/26
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 621



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI love the Sound of Thunderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hear the wind cry from the west
    A blanket of darkness covers the sky
    I know this feeling better than best
    The lightning flashes bright in my eyes

    I love the sound of thunder

    I feel the road beneath the wheels
    I drive for miles in the dark
    The windows are down, the chill I can feel
    I hear the rumble of my car

    I love the sound of thunder

    The air is still, as still can be
    I'm laying in your arms
    I hear the pounding melody
    The beating of your heart

    I love the sound of thunder




    Submitted on 2009-04-29 01:03:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So do I, its fantastic. I like this, its simple and beautiful. Your constant us of simple verbs like "I hear" "I feel" is effective particularly "I feel the road beneath the wheels". If I may make a few suggestions;

    The air is still, as still can be
    We promise not to part
    I hear the pounding melody
    The beating of your heart

    Strictly if this is a vivid fantasy and nothing real or personal to you

    I feel the road beneath the wheels
    I drive miles throughout the dark
    The windows down, that chilly feel
    The stark rumbling of my car

    Again they're just suggestions
    Nicely done!

    - Sethesin
    | Posted on 2009-04-29 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]


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