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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: this my promisedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: suicidalacts72
    ASL Info:    20/f/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 189/150/69
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 449
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 308



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthis my promisedots
    -------------------------------------------


    i love you and your all i want
    hold me close
    your in my viens
    part of this
    a whole
    but i crave
    i have desire
    dare i
    never
    this my promise
    for only you
    no escape
    in your arms
    i drown smothered
    with your love...




    Submitted on 2009-04-29 22:55:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This needs some work, but has potential for an excellent poem. I especially like the closing two lines

    'i drown smothered
    with your love...'

    A spelling correction is needed; the possessive word your in the first and again in the third line should be changed to the contraction "you're".


    | Posted on 2009-04-30 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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