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    dots Submission Name: Indentationsdots

    Author: SilentDreams42
    Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 38/30/42
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 782
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 383

       What has this world come to?
    Who have we become?
    Who have I become?

    I hate this

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I was molded out of clay
    But you shaped me
    Indentations forming my perception on life

    These scars you have crafted
    Still take over me
    And who I strive to be

    I am whom you made me
    Every nook and cranny
    Every eyelash and hair on my body

    I am not who I want to be...

    Submitted on 2009-05-02 15:35:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this i feel ive been boxed in and way influenced alot and this explains the who am I feeling right. good work buddy.
    | Posted on 2009-05-04 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
      I am not nearly as deep as the person below me. But, only you can control your fate.
    | Posted on 2009-05-03 00:00:00 | by MyWorld | [ Reply to This ]
      realising that i am not you and therefore have no idea who you address in this piece my comment wont seem very useful at all.

    when i read the formed from clay thing i couldnt help but think of the creation story and how god formed man from clay

    then the second line suggests to me that someone other than the creator has shaped you... has carved you into the person you currently are...

    that could be a parent or a lover or another figure who has some kind of authority over you as a person

    these indentations/scars make me wonder how literal they are to be taken...
    in my life indentations and scars are more memories and reminiscings than actually visible scars physically located on my body
    but it is true that scars cause us to view the world in a new way and create the way we percieve things.

    sometimes i think we need to come to the place you have come to at the end of this piece. in saying you are who youve been made to be but not who you want to be opens up the opportunity for you to persue what it is you want to be in a fuller way.
    while the ending should leave the reader with a sense of gloom or forboding i am left with a glimmer of hope... if you know who/what you dont want to be then maybe you have half an idea what/who you do want to be and maybe you are able to start gradually working toward becoming that person.

    good luck
    | Posted on 2009-05-02 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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