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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Empressdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EEKS
    Elite Ratio:    2.82 - 647/1087/624
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 70
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1054



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmpressdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I could have had an empire you know
    Once upon a time I could have raised an army
    And who knows? Maybe I still could
    If I wasn't tied to you.
    Once upon a time, I had admirers from every angle.

    But now I only have you.
    You who cannot call, cannot write
    Cannot speak a word without shuddering
    I bet you don't even know me
    Not in any way that matters

    I had warriors, poets, knights and thieves
    Jesters, kings, peasants and princes
    Skulking around outside music mega stores
    Trying to buy my coffee and conversation
    But I was older then

    You came to me when I was broken
    Into tiny marbles rolling across angel's floors
    You had pretty things to say
    Your hand was soft
    Your hair was nice

    I, like Bobby, have miles to go before I sleep
    And many many promises to keep
    But when I wake up in the morning
    Curl over and caress you
    Will you know me then?




    Submitted on 2009-05-02 15:44:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice - gives a haunting sort of tone, but without the overabundance of angst-ridden conventions or phrases.

    I have one question/comment: the phrase 'rolling across angel's floors,' is a bit odd, but only because of the apostrophe placement. Without an "an" before "angel's", it signifies a person (like a name would). Did you mean "angels' " (angels but a possessive plural) or just "angel?" All three give different images and meanings. S'why I asked. :3

    Sorry if that was technical. And if I sound confusing, I apologize. Lack of sleep.

    Otherwise I really, -really- liked it. ^_^

    ~Quin
    | Posted on 2009-05-03 00:00:00 | by Quin | [ Reply to This ]


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