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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Jaded Decaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: silent_death12
    Elite Ratio:    7.94 - 1739/805/135
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 608
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1070



    Description:
       just came to me, not so much about me exactly though.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJaded Decaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Broke down in the silence,
    and the shadows of today-
    wore that empty smile...
    as if you'd notice anyway.
    wonder if you really see me,
    reflected in your eyes,
    wonder if making me smile,
    gives you a little flinch from all your lies.

    Tried to tell you
    how it feels
    tried to show you...
    but who cares?
    looking for answers;
    -the questions still remain.
    gave you all I had to give...
    gave it all...in vain?

    saw your soul's decay,
    behind those perfect eyes,
    saw that tiny part of you,
    that still cares about my cries.
    whatever the lesson,
    it's now shattered and burned,
    drowning in the silence-
    no lesson has been learned.

    Tried to tell you
    how it feels
    tried to show you...
    but who cares?
    looking for answers;
    -the questions still remain.
    gave you all I had to give...
    gave it all..
    for you.




    Submitted on 2009-05-02 20:34:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      :(. This was sad, but as usual your words dig deep, and leave an impact that is not soon to be forgotten. But it incorporates a different kind of pain, with such a seethered edge. ANd as most of your writes, I find i must read it at least a few times, maybe to try and grasp better that in which you convey, and you do so far too well.
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm going through something that relates to this and I can feel some of the things this poem describes. Some people aren't big fan of rhyming poems but I am and I think you did a good job with it. You depicted the emotions well and displayed emotions of defeat, sadness, and uncertainty. I don't have much for criticism. I liked it too much to nit pick at it too much. good job
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ]


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