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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SilentDreams42
    Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 38/30/42
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 706
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 449



    Description:
       emotions vary
    but love grows... despite the heartache


    we see it everyday


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The heart beats erratically
    Crying out

    Wanting you, who you are
    Wanting me, who I could be

    Doubts appear
    Doubts subside

    Loving you for who you are
    Not who the world expects you to be

    The heart beats erratically
    Crying out…

    In pain
    In grief
    In love



    The heart beats erratically.





    Submitted on 2009-05-03 00:38:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like how you repeat the first and last lines. The set-up is pretty rad too. Unique, but it gives the poem a special something.


    However, the whole thing is a little cliché. I think... like... I have problems with cliché stuff too. Hahah.


    I like the message behind the poem. It's sweet.


    Overall, I like this piece.


    <3 Sweets
    | Posted on 2009-05-03 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    173934

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