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The Kid Named Not Me

Author: jaycee
ASL Info:    44/F/ Texas
Elite Ratio:    5.27 - 2627 /1261 /188
Words: 212
Class/Type: Poetry /Comedy
Total Views: 2802
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1235


This was written as a poem for my children. I am now researching to create a childrens' book. Update on 1/23/15 due to change in code for punctuation

The Kid Named Not Me

There's a new kid at home,
One nobody sees
But we all know he's there.
His name is Not Me.

He took out all my colors
And doodled on the wall.
You can tell from how high he reached
He isn't very tall.

When my mom asked,
"Whose art work can this be?"
The answer was unanimous.
We all said, "Not Me!"

Not Me is very naughty.
He always makes a mess,
And what he did with Sister's doll
Is anybody's guess!

He ruined Mommy's makeup.
He messed up Daddy's hat.
He even cut my bed sheets.
Now, how bad was that?

And when he takes a bath
He gets water on the floor.
And just last night
He got toothpaste on the door.

He spilled Kool-Aid on the carpet
And broke some dishes in the sink.
He left the milk out on the counter
So now there's none to drink.

When something's going wrong
And Mom's angry as can be,
You can always be sure he did it-
That kid named Not Me.

Submitted on 2004-02-10 16:32:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  The fact that this infers that the kids wouldn't squeal on each other is telling. I mean no one said it's him. Isn't that the damnedest. This is so often true that it's pretty much hysterical. Like a group of criminals they stick together. I wish my sister and I had been more that way. We were always pointing fingers, well maybe not always. As I recall pre 7yrs or so we wouldn't snitch. It was never very comforting for mom and dad.

| Posted on 2015-01-24 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
  I luv it, luv it, luv it!
I think that same kid lived at my house when I was a kid, and I am sure he lived at my house when my kids were growing up. As a matter of fact, he has lived in any home that had children!

I hope you are still thinking about the children's book, or even starting on it. I think you will do good with it.

Definately one for my favorites list! I am looking forward to reading more of your work when I have more time...I will be back!

| Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Doris Jean | [ Reply to This ]
  heyy there..

this poem of yours made me chuckle to myself more than jus once, something I embrace at this point in time when I am fuming with anger over something completely unnecessary. haha. I hope you dont mind me printing out this poem to read during my next relief teaching assignment. I have more than a hunch that my students will love it as well as relate to that impish, in denial side of themselves. *winks*

thanks for the amusing write!

take care,
| Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by wilted_ | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to say that I found this to be quite entertaining. I never really thought about how we always used to say that when we were younger. But for you to actually turn Not Me into a person, that's quite an imagination you must have.

Either that or you have kids. I think it could be a children's book the way it is, as long as you add pictures, of course.

Love this one, and I got to add it to my faves.


P.S. BTW, since I noticed in your journal that you are unhappy with the amount of feedback you have received, I will try to check out some of your work and tell you what I think, if my opinion matters at all.
| Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
  I guess I met this kid quite often when i was little...too bad my parents never saw him!!! good luck with your book,that one was really really great fun!!
| Posted on 2004-04-04 00:00:00 | by lanza13 | [ Reply to This ]
  You know I'm sure my brother knows a 'Not Me', as it never seems to be his fault... Anyway great poem, the rhyming scheme works very well and it flows well. My only critism is the last two lines on the last stanza, I didn't feel they scanned as well as the rest of the poem, but this may be just me. I'd have thought if you took a syllable out of the 2nd last line (perhaps using you're instead of you are) and adding a syllable to the last line (perhaps who's - as in the kid who's named not me.) Thanks, a great poem though.
| Posted on 2004-03-04 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
  this is definitely my favorite so far.
it hit the target, kids are all like that,
except me.
fantastic work.
| Posted on 2004-03-03 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
  oh! this one made me laugh!! i think there is a "Not Me" in every home!
| Posted on 2004-02-26 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
Immediately struck a memory bone and written in exactly the right way - could have been by someone who remembers being a little girl called not me...
| Posted on 2004-02-14 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
  I read this to my 11 year old grandaughter and she loved it. My daughter has 3 children, and definitely the kid named "Not Me" certainly is one of them ! ( though she says "Not Me" it must be the other daughter as the only boy is only 1 LOL) Thanks, Silver
| Posted on 2004-02-11 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

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