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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mom of the year.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: locutus
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 29/34/35
    Words: 308
    Class/Type: Misc/Friendship
    Total Views: 544
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1786



    Description:
       a rough draft...endlessly...i say it much better lol.,


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMom of the year.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    my poor girl, faking kisses at evening balls,
    standing beside a man that is not worthy of carrying his overweight carcass around.
    much less residing with such a tender goddess.
    her sadness portrayed in a obvious way, backing a selfish man.
    she has the loveliness that every soul would love to posses.
    his grotesque past would make him have the best yet despise it.
    should a woman of her stature make a fool out of me?
    so treat her..... make her an embarrassment!
    call her such names as prostitutes, have her at my feet.
    all i want is to make him happy,
    am i the right enough wife?
    am i what my mother intended me to be?
    he tells me im not enough,
    my kisses are only accepted in the abdominal area.
    but this is true love! i will back him until the end.
    the one above will see and hear my prayers.
    my girl sleeps, and she does so with me.
    i'm not talking about my wife, she's not enough...
    she could never be....
    she hurt me in the start, that bitch will never know.
    i'm my daddies boy, i'm only used to more.
    that girl is more... cant let her know,,,,
    these girls i share make me happy....
    they are as troubled as me.... are you my friend?....
    you drunken persona, always content, dumb as a mule....
    take care of my business....
    you bet i will! i will make of your body a bloody canal...
    and a vibrant spring of her lips.
    of her tangled hair (her ruined state) a breath of fresh air.
    the bad memories deceased....
    replace that overweight body with one that is made for her pleasure,
    lifting spirits and thus being well.......LOVE.




    Submitted on 2009-05-06 00:57:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem is a bit perplex, I was expecting more so of a poem about one person, but for some reason after reading this write twice, I can see a mixture of several people in a situation that is too far for comfort to save that moment. For some reason, I see a great deal of pain, a bit of torment, in more so of a familys view than just a mothers.

    Don't get me wrong here, I love the idea, if that is, and if it isn't I apologies for stating that it was, for I may have misinturpeted this whole write of yours.

    However, I do have several remarks about this write. One, I love it, it switches around so many views, of a bit negatory moments, yet I see them as vents. It spirals and twists almost more like a puzzle, and then it strikes you at the very ending. Isn't that of what everyone desearves in this common day of life (LOVE)?

    I wouldn't consider this as a rough art but consider this as a very unique style of writing, writing that has a mixture, writing of which in my eyes, is my favorite types of writes.

    However if I preceived this write wrong, do tell me so what I have missed. I want to learn more about this and its background if you can.

    Apprechiate it much.


    -Crest
    | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      Ive never seen an over-weight godess date a what was it?

    an overweight carcuss.

    hmm.Illuminating.

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


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