I like how the ghost and everything are just regular things that become evil in the dark.
I really like the last part when the light comes in and the thought that brings warmth. Its true, when you are feeling scared and you remember God, you feel instantly safer.
i love this. i think all kinds of evil use fear more then anything to hold us back. when i was little i had terrible insomnia so i would lay in bed for hours every night trying to fall asleep and sometimes id hear like creaking a few feet away, or voices speaking jibberish but they sounded like they were right in my ear. i was 6-12 when this happened but id sit up in my bed and cry and stare into the darkness, afraid to yell afraid to move. i always left the hallway light on and the door open. all i had to do was jump out of bed and sprint to the hall way, to light, to safety, but i never did. fear held me there until i fell back asleep.
its cool that you added God in there. like we dont have to be afraid, or run away anymore. we can tell the light in the hall way to come to us and it will. just saying Christs name makes the shadows tremble(the monsters and skeletons and ghosts). we know one day everythings going to be revealed, and those big scary monsters are going to be reduced to nothing in His presence. theyll be blankets and coats, broken on the floor. ha, and well step on them as we walk to the hallway, walk Home.
oh man, when i was a wee kid i had this mexican bandito marionette that hung from a hook in the ceiling in the corner of my room...
scared me nightly. with his twin six shooters and crazy sombrero, i just knew he was gonna climb down from that hook and...
so then, overall assessment eh? well all in all i would say this is pretty well written, i think it's the form that throws me a little. could be just me but this really wanted to read like a straightforward story, something more in the vein of prose rather than broken up into short stanzas. also i noticed the rhyme scheme ending the first three verses and then there was no mo?
guess my only sorta suggestion would be to mess with different forms, but like i said, could be just me.