Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My love...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rubymoon
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 155/162/91
    Words: 448
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 851
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2493



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy love...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Look at me with that smile of yours my love...
    at only me. I feel like a flower blooming day by day,
    slowly but surely, under your loving gaze.
    I want to be the only one who receive your gift of warm...
    not harsh like the sunlight, and yet, not cold like the moon.
    Just warm like you, like your smile... your love.

    Our love can flare hot and bright, or calm and gentle.
    I would not trade a single moment of it for anything at all.
    Not the sun, nor the moon, not even the stars or the earth...
    But, if I had them, I would trade them all for even a second,
    nay, an instant of your love. I would not regret or wonder how...
    it would be like if I kept them. The things others would treasure the most.
    Instead, I would hold the moment close to my heart.

    Even if I forget, or when the memory slips away, my heart...
    it will remember it. It will recognise the truth of the moment.
    It will remember the caress of your love, it will know, how you cherish it.
    My heart will know, since it is in your keeping. It knows,
    your tender caresses, your sigh, your thoughts, even how you treasure it
    But it does not wish to be framed and kept like a pretty picture.

    No! It wishes to be like the well-worn photograph in a soldier’s keeping...
    To be gazed upon with loving and longing eyes, to be remembered...
    to remind the person that has it in keeping that someone loves him.
    To have each line traced, caressed and remembered over and over again.
    A silent promise that we would meet and be together again...

    I wish to be selfish, like a flower that takes all...
    and leave nothing so that others cant take root, cant bloom
    I want to be in your mind constantly so you would not think of others...
    to be large in your heart, as so not to leave space for others to creep in.
    I want to lay down my mind, body, heart and soul to you, even as...
    I want to you to lay down yours... I want you to take me in your keeping
    even as I struggle to find a way to hold you in me.

    In this piece, I show you another side of my love...
    I offer you, give to you my selfish love.
    I offer everything I am to you, but in this selfishness
    I ask for everything you are... I want you to hold me even as...
    I want to hold you. Close and dear...




    Submitted on 2009-05-06 09:01:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Is this for him? like is he on the site or something?

    Or is it for the rest of us?

    You dont want critique on this do you?

    Thats okay then.

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    174051

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    True Death written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cover written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Are not cheap (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry