Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: in my arms...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: suicidalacts72
    ASL Info:    20/f/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 189/150/69
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 626
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1021



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsin my arms...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    i wish i could touch you
    hold you in my arms
    your already there
    but i don't feel the warmth
    i can't feel your love
    its been so long
    since i saw love in your eyes
    do you still want me
    here
    at your side?
    or am i nothing
    just something to fill the void
    i feel you slipping away
    just out of reach
    gone to me
    just one last kiss
    a final demise
    sorry my love
    i can't go on
    pretending not to hurt
    losing you
    my worst fear
    but you've been dead
    for so long
    so here i sit
    on this rainy day
    missing us
    can't we just go back
    flip this hour glass upside down
    let the sands flow backwards
    so this won't faid
    hold me here
    on the brink of hell
    hold me tight
    till we become one
    and face the darkness
    unafraid and consumed
    in each others arms




    Submitted on 2009-05-06 09:51:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey
    been reading a few of your pieces. your poetry.
    seems to me that you're either longing for someone or just love that topic. maybe thats the one...
    sorry just kiddin.
    cant tell if you're talented or not, though you should try to rather let the reader feel what you mean (or feel) than to describe it so clearly. thus your poems would be really great i guess. since you're pretty prolific, why not give it a try?
    or simply try i out another topic. i'm wont to describe the mood i'm in even when i try not to write about it.
    sounds a lot better to me then. somehow.
    anyway...
    keep on writing, do what you think is best.
    i'll be around, reading.

    b-sides and sleep,
    allan
    | Posted on 2009-06-15 00:00:00 | by Jimi James | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    174053

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Bond written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    The Promise written by annie0888
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    This written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry