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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She said of the towndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tjsmith5
    ASL Info:    28/m/MS
    Elite Ratio:    5.49 - 109/231/124
    Words: 309
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1858



    Description:
       More therapy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe said of the towndots
    -------------------------------------------


    that it had "so much potential."
    I admit there is something amid the sidewalks outside Cafe Du Monde' a little ways from the aquarium with purple seahorses and neon lizards.

    Said she had the "time of her life" here with a gorgeous preacher's son. Said he had the perfect jawline, faded blue eyes and blonde hair styled in God's own salon (I assume). Said they spent so many nights here dancing to music too good for the radio. She played some for me and it really was too good.

    Though she agreed to marry me, it took a month of convincing to get her to the dog park to walk the pekingnese.

    It was a HARD DAY to realize that the man a woman marries is seldom the one she loved best.

    She left me 6 months before our marriage date, citing insecurity and booze. She kept the ring.

    And in my way, I discarded everything she ever gave me- expensive shirts and a leather bag for holding cologne and razors.

    But I did keep the fleur-de-lis hat we picked up in New Orleans because she said that I too had "such potential" before she left.

    So we have that in common, New Orleans and I.

    But I'm trying and so is this town.
    Trying on the sidewalk
    outside Cafe Du Monde'
    with the Asian violinist
    playing "Summer Breeze"
    while I cover my eyes
    with brim of my hat and
    discretely tip her fifty dollars.

    New Orleans and I:
    We're still recovering from a hurricane like Katrina- that name meaning,
    as she said,
    "To cleanse."

    Spanish Fort, AL - 5/3/09
















    Submitted on 2009-05-06 11:58:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      right now im stuck on the new orleans and i have got that in comon line... theres a movie in my head that i cannot find that has a line a whole lot like that... ugh... its a beautiful moment in the movie when he realises he has nothing of what he'd hoped for but finds some kind of consolation somewhere...

    okay, that completely nullifies this comment.
    let me try again:


    i like how she said of the town flows into the first line... as if the title is the first line... kinda like e. e. cummings does with a lot of his works... or has been done when he's been published... either way... i like it.


    ive had a convo with someone recently about women marrying guys who arent their everything loves... not that theyre second bests mind you... its just the way life has worked out. its not about compromise though... perhaps its more you dont know what you got til its gone? or memories are always better lived in hindsight...?

    [censored] for taking the ring. not that it would be much use to you without her.. theres something about re-giving and engagement ring that seems cheap and tacky to me..


    i really like you and new orleans and the hurricane.
    though to compare your world to the aftermath of hurricane katrina gives the reader insight as to how huge this ordeal has been for you.
    i went to new orleans a year after katrina. i went to mississippi with some friends to do some hurricane relief and we skipped over to new orleans for the day and wondered round the french quarter etc. we drove through the streets on our way back out... passed all the homes that were condemned and unlivable and yet still standing there... like a shadow or a silhouette of a former glory... not-so-living testaments to the tragedy that was katrina.

    i think i just want to say 'izooh'... be strong...
    | Posted on 2010-03-21 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I bet you've been wondering if I'm going to comment on this piece....

    And if you haven't been wondering that, you should have, because I'm you're number one stalker ^__^

    You are AMAZING. Even through the pain, and I'm sure this hurt more than anyone can imagine....


    [she said of the town]
    that it had "so much potential."
    I admit there is something amid the sidewalks outside Cafe Du Monde' a little ways from the aquarium with purple seahorses and neon lizards.


    I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but one of the reasons I like you work so much is because you make the smallest things so beautiful and real....usually I enjoy reading because books take me away from reality. You are my contradiction. You bring me back....and through your eyes I see a world (albeit a sad heartbreaking one) with different colors and it just makes me pause....not many things can do that (bring me back to reality I mean.)


    It was a HARD DAY to realize that the man a woman marries is seldom the one she loved best.


    You know, I don't even have words to describe how this made me feel....so I can only image how it must make you feel.....

    You are beautiful.

    This piece was breathtaking, and a favorite for sure....

    My sympathies....with your permission.

    Krys.
    | Posted on 2009-05-07 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]
      She might have kept the ring simply because he never asked for it back. In discarding everything she gave him, in a way he was discarding her. I bet she never did the same to him. I bet she kept everything, sealed in a pretty box, just waiting for him to grow up and come back.
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by Apart | [ Reply to This ]
      wrods to follow [wrods lol]

    rily good though.
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Very impressive.I loved it.It is indeed a hard day,but women love like the weather in my humble opinion.

    Wait was that kind of sexist? maybe so, I should hope so!

    Seriously though,top notch.

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


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