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    dots Submission Name: Fortunate pigeondots

    Author: devil666
    ASL Info:    26/M/NewHampshire
    Elite Ratio:    1.63 - 9/50/38
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 613
    Average Vote:    4.3333
    Bytes: 956


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFortunate pigeondots

    Sitting on a mango tree and watching the blue sky,
    Watched a young pigeon drop to the ground and die.
    Really sad to see that, but it was all for good,
    Flying all day, looking for shelter and food.

    Food, shelter and mating, life without a purpose,
    A worm or figs on a lucky day was an extra bonus.
    Why blame mute animals?, even humans lead such lives,
    School and college, stupid jobs and then nagging wives.

    On a lucky day, death ended the pigeon's existence,
    Hurt its neck while flying across the barbed wire fence.
    Bleeding profusely it fell while flying in the air,
    Died slowly and painfully with no one to care.

    Looking blissfully asleep in the golden sand,
    Blood all around its neck like an orange garland.
    Soul up in heaven where there is no hunger or disease,
    Green pastures all around, green trees and cool breeze.

    Submitted on 2009-05-07 06:48:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The theme of how death relates with life is so difficult to deal with, yet so attractive to poets!

    Like vLame (below) I think this is beautiful writing.

    I was fascinated by the last couplet. It has a very weak rhyme at the line endings -- just where i'd expect a strong line. But I did not notice this, because the "ee" sound and the "s" are repeated several times inside these lines. If you didn't design that delberately, it shows a very natural feeling for verse.

    I am wondering whether English is your second language: whether I am reading some verse influenced by, or translated from another language? I'm eager to find poetry of that sort .... English is my only language, except a little French, but I love trying to improve translations that I find. Many translators are fine scholars but lousy poets!

    I keep on running out of time, but I'll come back another day to read the rest of your posting.
    | Posted on 2009-07-08 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      the depressing truth was hidden by beautiful writing, A+
    | Posted on 2009-05-07 00:00:00 | by vLame | [ Reply to This ]

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