Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A prayerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 619
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 873



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA prayerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Excavate me oh Lord
    Help me brush away the dirt
    from the treasures of my soul.
    Take me out of darkness
    into your all pervading light.
    Such a glorius sight that,
    would it be if I could bear
    to cast mine own eyes
    upon my whole Self
    without going blind.

    Thou Great Archeologist
    Blow your gentle breath
    across my soul
    and reveal me to myself
    (but only when you deem me ready)
    I shall live here
    cultivating my patience and trust
    and knowing that that which I ask
    if it fall in line with your will
    be done.
    Help me to embrace each moment
    as you bring it to me.

    Oh Great Archeologist
    Excavate me
    so that I may see Your shining glory
    within myself
    within my Self.

    Amen




    Submitted on 2009-05-09 10:04:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Good prayer, but as all good armchair quarterbacks, I have a criticism. The poem, as deep and profound as it is, almost sounds to me that you are in love with your God. I understand loving the Lord, but toward the end it almost seemed sultry and submissive. If that was the point then disregard.
    | Posted on 2010-01-26 00:00:00 | by Nicholas Lala | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    174156

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Dream written by closetpoet
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry