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    dots Submission Name: Standardized Obsession dots

    Author: Ethan Brody
    ASL Info:    35 - M - Chile
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 440/205/78
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 856
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 719

       Well, I don't really post many things as I used to. I guess that now the opportunities in which inspiration hits me are very few and far between. Anyhow, this something a bit experimental .... I tried some new things .... well, if someone helps up with this, I will check and comment on their writes. Tell me whatever you want to say about it ..... what you feel I might be referring to, some criticism, etc...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStandardized Obsession dots

    Massive obsession is the phrase
    That defines their demeanour,
    Struggling with it every day,
    Looking for the right remarks,
    Listening to ancient voices
    Telling us not to give up.

    Itís like wanting to dress folks
    With garments that donít fit in,
    As though striving to store salt
    In a visibly little bottle,
    Or transfusing incorrect blood
    Into an agonizing body.

    Trapping people
    Into conventional cages,
    Sieving attitudes with repression,
    Simmering minds to get sameness,
    Tearing diversity into irredeemable pieces,
    And finally one wonders why we all catch the same cold!

    Submitted on 2009-05-09 16:26:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
       And finally one wonders why we all catch the same cold! same old story. well i took it personal, as a love story, yet i write for venting purposes. it seems very teenage like the world against us, no one could understand. it seems like you mask your things and put a mainstream signature on it. very good poet waay above my understanding sorry.

    but i really enjoyed this.

    | Posted on 2010-07-13 00:00:00 | by locutus | [ Reply to This ]
      I also agree with the other guys as far as consumerism goes but it also reminds me of the government lately. You know all the "swine flu pandemic" and "if we don't throw money at our debt we'll never get out of it" garbage. Sound s to me like they are "striving to store salt
    In an visibly little bottle". Always trying to use the media, "Simmering minds to get sameness". I don't know maybe I'm way off but that's what I read into it.

    | Posted on 2009-05-20 00:00:00 | by owlman23 | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with raphael. i see alot f what he's sayin.

    i like the acient voices line.



    that battle between social trend nd chosen path. individuals are always individuals first. so that balance is always there. i'm sure it'sall been gotten into a billion times. i'm almost sure the point isnt marketabe. but that's te point.

    the comparisons are pretty nice. and the tone of bitter works. but the end makes it seem good to me. kinda like a shoulder shrug.

    ya know.
    i'm not unleahin a wrath ofhell,
    i'm just sayin.

    works for me dude.
    | Posted on 2009-05-09 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      I like very much the subtlety employed in what could have been an obvious topic, your making the reader meet you half way. The "it" crowd, "the hills", the manufactured pop, the table trash novels, the chic flick, Paris Hilton (Lash), celebrity perfumes, brand names , D4 girls from Dublin, Lady Gaga, pimp my ride, cribs, nike, adidas, reebock, the prosbect of mounting a blond bomb shell, everything the news tells and a Ben Stiller movie thats not as funny as the last box office draw.

    Basically consumerism?

    The media that dictates whats "in"?

    I like how you tackled the issue and your bitter tone.

    Im not on the site for nit-picking or constructive criticism, but thats my hit and miss answer(s) to your question.

    | Posted on 2009-05-09 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]

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