Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Experimental Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rubymoon
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 155/162/91
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 587
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 276



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsExperimental Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I could not post the piece here as i used two different colors to show the two individuals talking. I have posted it here "http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/rubymoon/410687/" and I would be really grateful for any reviews and / or comments you might have. Thank you




    Submitted on 2009-05-16 01:26:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey ruby (tuesday)
    at first i'd like to say that this would be a great poem if the link would be non-existent. somehow dylanesque...
    what i'm trying to say is that it would make fun of sites dealing with poetry.
    second, i think its just strange rating your poem as mature. 12-year olds would go crazy reading this? really?
    so without having read any words, you could say its remarkable(and experimental).
    the actual poem is hm rather unexperienced than experimental. how should i put it...
    i think i'm getting what you're trying to do. but the experimental thing about the poem is the way you write not love you write about. so maybe you're talking more of you're experiment to the thing you love. the love portrayed is just a disguise. wow. if thats on purpose, cool. otherwise... hm
    isn't there any other way to describe what you're talking about? i think the way you did it has seen a lot of visitors.
    dont get me wrong here i dont want to be impolite.
    very romantic though haha.
    "i want this first to be special"
    watch out so you dont get cheesy.
    "i wanted this first to be special" would be more realistic. in my experience... er...
    sorry. i'm usually tempted to be romantic, too.
    too much said.
    I'm tired and in a garrulous mood.
    good night my lady.
    coffe and tv,
    allan
    | Posted on 2009-06-15 00:00:00 | by Jimi James | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    174450

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The World written by jjd
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry