Description: This was an exercise in a creative writing class. We were given random pages of books and newspapers and had to pick out what we though were interesting phrases. Then we strung them together to form a "poem". I believe each line is phrase from a different source.
Monks do not talk
quiet is enfolded
Silence is a great equalizer
You hear voices sing each day
We are new to this
In your own voice
Understanding will evolve
Nodding, nodding, nothing more
learning to be friendly
(despite the heat)
someone you respect will act on impulse
whirlwind of fun - a really bad idea
The eyes drift
Sigh of air
no more sleeping
The following lines are from my brain and not from a book as the first impression
I am reading
this is not a poem
stupid lesson taken by your teacher
TEll your teacher that poems are not just set of words. They are feelings that flow through the human being brought down in the pen with life in it.
If you really want to write a good one read all the books from which you have taken those lines and then write one of your own.... Then also it will not be your own poem but a collection of books that is in your head.
Can you give me the contact of that teacher in any case? Let me tell her what a poem is.
Also if i accept the poem in any way then "whirlwind of fun - a really bad idea" is out of sync.
I don't think it's worth much as a poem, but I felt it was interesting enough to post anyway. Just the concept, and some of the places it begins to take your mind. Well...my mind at least.
It had some formatting that may have helped it, but I'm not sure how to add that here.
Thanks for the feedback though!
i can understand why no one commented on this. it's really hard to. my first sugestion for it to be more of one piece would be, I guess, to use punctutation. Because so far, the connections of meaning between your lines tie it together but not too strong to make the reader forget that each line comes from a different source, and that this work isn't 100% your own.
Monks do not talk -
it's such a powerful opening line, and somehow the rest of poem failed to correspond to it on that level. You didn't give us more, and it proved to be a disapppointment.