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    dots Submission Name: Snippetsdots

    Author: freshcookies
    Elite Ratio:    4.15 - 63/77/45
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 603

       This was an exercise in a creative writing class. We were given random pages of books and newspapers and had to pick out what we though were interesting phrases. Then we strung them together to form a "poem". I believe each line is phrase from a different source.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Monks do not talk
    quiet is enfolded
    quite upsetting
    Silence is a great equalizer
    You hear voices sing each day
    We are new to this
    In your own voice
    creativity surges
    Understanding will evolve
    Nodding, nodding, nothing more
    learning to be friendly
    (despite the heat)
    someone you respect will act on impulse
    whirlwind of fun - a really bad idea
    The eyes drift
    Confidence falters
    Sigh of air
    no more sleeping

    Submitted on 2009-05-16 18:11:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The following lines are from my brain and not from a book as the first impression

    I am reading
    this is not a poem
    stupid lesson taken by your teacher
    what crap

    TEll your teacher that poems are not just set of words. They are feelings that flow through the human being brought down in the pen with life in it.

    If you really want to write a good one read all the books from which you have taken those lines and then write one of your own.... Then also it will not be your own poem but a collection of books that is in your head.

    Can you give me the contact of that teacher in any case? Let me tell her what a poem is.

    Also if i accept the poem in any way then "whirlwind of fun - a really bad idea" is out of sync.
    | Posted on 2009-05-18 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      holy men falter
    at the crux of decisions
    the coin toss of mercy
    can often be cruel

    but creative surges
    like pulses of wisdom
    from snippets of novels
    make far better tools
    | Posted on 2009-05-17 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      i think its amazing in how tangible it remains, all coming from diffrent sources. I can follow up until after the part in ('s. still prety cool for a random assortment.
    | Posted on 2009-05-17 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think it's worth much as a poem, but I felt it was interesting enough to post anyway. Just the concept, and some of the places it begins to take your mind. Well...my mind at least.
    It had some formatting that may have helped it, but I'm not sure how to add that here.
    Thanks for the feedback though!
    | Posted on 2009-05-17 00:00:00 | by freshcookies | [ Reply to This ]
      i can understand why no one commented on this. it's really hard to. my first sugestion for it to be more of one piece would be, I guess, to use punctutation. Because so far, the connections of meaning between your lines tie it together but not too strong to make the reader forget that each line comes from a different source, and that this work isn't 100% your own.

    Monks do not talk -

    it's such a powerful opening line, and somehow the rest of poem failed to correspond to it on that level. You didn't give us more, and it proved to be a disapppointment.

    | Posted on 2009-05-16 00:00:00 | by expiring_touch | [ Reply to This ]

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