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susanna, may 17

Author: meoww
Elite Ratio:    6.75 - 262 /258 /143
Words: 154
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
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(photo: blackberries at opoutere beach a few years ago. totally random.)

susanna, may 17

susanna, she's always been a sleepy type; been one of those
daisy-chain chainers, in love with a tenth of the world, and all
that it could possibly mean.

she says it's nothing to do with god or man or tree, or even spirits,
that it's all about how far it takes to go on that journey: between two
animate things, between cell and molecule and infinite atomic

you see, i disagree with her purely because i have to,
the reason being that it's all about being; being both satin
and cadaverous wool, being both north and south
magnetic irregularities.

yes, this planet will spin! yes, there's movement even
in loneliness. yes, and one other yes! never constitutes
a sin.

i get tired of exclamation marks.
so does susanna, in her flightless yet bold

Submitted on 2009-05-17 07:00:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  the reason being that it's all about being; being both satin
and cadaverous wool

How in the world did you come up with that line? That is just... wow! Such a great line. I'm completely mesmerized by it. The entire thing was scrumptious, but that line just is unreal... it strikes some heart bell somewhere inside.

The rest is amazing as well, I don't mean to discount it in focusing... I can't get it out of my senses. cadaverous wool. That's why sweaters eat us... among other things, but it goes deeper into the subprimal membrane of thought, linguistically speaking... such odd word marriage there that works perfectly.
| Posted on 2009-09-24 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
  oh! and you posted this on my birthday..
| Posted on 2009-05-25 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
  amazing! if only she could realize that there is no distance "between two animate things, between cell and molecule and infinite atomic
relationships." there is no "empty space" anywhere. i type this with your very own hands

| Posted on 2009-05-25 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
  bring the berries and i will bake the tenth part of your finger into my philafil

we women of the harem aheeem and mmmmm

for beefcake.
| Posted on 2009-05-24 00:00:00 | by InNoMood44Play | [ Reply to This ]
  'yes, there's movement even in loneliness.'

This line made me give a little quivering exhalation. It is a good thing.

I want to hear more about susanna.

(I would kill to have your voice, I would kill so many things.)
| Posted on 2009-05-20 00:00:00 | by saartha | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this a lot. You've got a wonderful dichotomy here with this, and I loved your 3rd stanza. But I get the sense that this piece is unfinished. You might want to continue it to see where it leads you.
| Posted on 2009-05-17 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
  you have a voice all your own. yes. i never really know what to say because when i get there i find i don't speak the language. i understand it and it sounds beautiful but i trip on any attempt to respond. this is a good thing, like a long weekend, mini vacation.

every time i read how far it takes i want to say long.
anyway, i think i stand somewhere between yourself and sleepy susanna, and with a pack full of this and thats i've collected along the way.
not quite as heavy as it once was though, i've learned to toss some things right away otherwise that sucker gets entirely to weighty and how far it is seems much farther.


dig it.
| Posted on 2009-05-17 00:00:00 | by ma | [ Reply to This ]

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