A Crush of Feelings -------------------------------------------
To share a look
Brings surging emotions
That seep over me
Like the waves of the ocean.
When you talk to me
My heart starts to flutter
Into the clouds
Like a beautiful butterfly.
To listen to each other
With such undeniable interest
Makes it harder to breathe
As if being crushed by the smallest feather.
When you walk with me
There is an extra hop in my step
Like a little girl skipping
To the candy store.
To joke with you
Brings out the laughter
Like the funniest movie
Rewatched a thousand times.
When you surprise me
I float in the air
Like a balloon on its
Way to Cloud 9
the whole thing flowed very nicely. I like how you said "To listen to each other with undeniable interest" That struck me, because when you are in love you do want to listen when your partner talks. Very nicely done
These verses potray the love and the sizzling chemistry between two people in love. The use of simple, child like rhymes (Like a little girl skipping to the candy store) makes it easier for the reader to relate to. It shows us that no matter what two people (in love) do, be it bathing, watching movies or eating, its always going to be enjoyable. The love and the intense desire to know, listen and be with each other all the time makes everything in the world look beautiful. This is the message that I get when I read this piece. Good job. Keep writing.
Submission Name: A Crush of Feelings
