Description: This is actually only HALF of the poem... the full length is 6 stanzas long and I was afraid no one would read it once they saw the length. If you're interested in reading the rest, let me know.
As for this part, any suggestions? Anything you really liked or absolutely hated? Comments please!
So Afraid To Bleed -------------------------------------------
In the silver light of your midnight smile,
I see your soul trapped inside your screaming eyes
And the aching in your touch begs me to free it-
But freedom recquires time...
O' we all know love knows no boundaries,
It travels faster than the bleeding sun.
We all know what its like to love alone-
But how many actually know how to love someone?
I can't give you what you ask of me,
This icy heart is much too weak.
Im afraid to feel- I'm afraid to lose,
O' I'm SO afraid to bleed...
I really do like this piece up until the end, and I though something is not quite right. Then I read the description, and I was right. You are depriving us of the whole piece. I hope you decide to share it. I like what I have read so far. Very nice
Wow...i really loved this poem...i was pulled in by the title and didn't read the description till after i read the poem...i would love to read the rest of this write and i think a lot of people would have read it if you would have posted the rest, i know that i've read a lot of really long writes on this site...anyway this poem had an excellent idea behind it and a terrific flow...you used some really great imagery to...my favorite lines are: 'In the silver light of your midnight smile, I see your soul trapped inside your screaming eyes' great work...i wish that i could come up with this kind of imagery...
put the rest up! now! it's great to see a good idea done well. but as to the length- it's really not that long. ever read "the wasteland"? things i liked - "we all know love knows no boundaries, it travels faster than the bleeding sun" the second line serves to give the first a not of sarcasm/cynycism/"yeah, right"ness, without meaning anything literally, but still communicating well.