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Author: joezwells
Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 64 /79 /55
Words: 325
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1500
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 2008



traces of tears are tracked on my face
gods saving grace i long to embrace
memories haunt and cant be erased
trapped in moment, i continue to pace

everything within my grasp
searching for the answers somewehre in my past
feeling like the social outcast
i take my seat in the back of the class

knowing where im not going
looking for the cure to the pain im not showing
searching for the life of all knowing
all the while i still dont know where im going

wanted so bad to just be me
longing for the fulfillment of feeling free
breaking down and praying on my knees
i need some guidence, god help me please

desierable highs i no longer seek
another hit wont help for i cant peak
asking for another round, those words i can not speak
a life once so serect, now so bleak

paying the price for all the lies
retrieving my trust by exposing old alibies
not expepting sympathy for my cries
telling the truth is my old lifes suicide

seven years ago i made a desesion
i fell to deep and chose to ignore my religon
nightmares tell me in horrific visions
i did it all wrong, i made the worng desicion

traveling a road i have never been down
its cold and lonely and my face is frawnd
sometimes i wonder away form these grounds
but not to far because i know now to every decison i make i am bound

surrounded by spirits of torment and hate
letting go is the only way to open the gate
punishing myself for attracting this fate
looking around i realize im disappointments bate.

traces of tears are tracked on my face
gods saving grace i long to embrace
memories haunt and cant be erased
trapped in moment, i continue to pace

Submitted on 2009-05-19 21:02:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  mmm a bit long for my liking but who am i to talk a lot of my write are considerably long as well. Anyhew it seems as if you dragged it out a bit much, maybe think about take a few things out of there and in turn it'll leave us (your readers) wondering... wanting more... leave us with thoughts and questions rather than leaving us with the end result.


Just a thought, not trying to come across as a know it all
I do like it just thought it could come out better if you made a few changes
| Posted on 2009-06-06 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]

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