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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Uncensoreddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadowstar13
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 191/191/129
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 552
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1647



    Description:
       For those who are offended by the language: you were warned...

    Depending on what you read and when and of course how, there are several meanings, and also several people to whom this is addressed. Actually, there are meant to be several narrators; I tried to get inside a few other people's heads, so to speak, when writing this.

    It's not so much poetry as a cipher? I don't know.

    The formatting wouldn't work, so take note of punctuation, capitalization, and quotation marks...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUncensoreddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I know I deserve the shit I get
    But you know you deserve the shit you give

    Measure
    for
    measure

    Pain
    for
    pleasure

    Karma from Chronos and anger from ether
    Said the mirror to the gazer:
    "You're nothing but me | em tub gnithon er'uoY
    Nothing on this earth matters that the eye can't see!"
    Liar liar, serpentongue-ram the glass until it's numb
    Scratch the surface, see the screams
    But you'll only near the heart of it in your dreams

    there's
    no
    Suicide
    solution to
    All this, all the
    truth
    We've recalled while
    you've avoided
    It all, you know that
    now

    I showed you the throne, just know not to bow
    Asriel brings everyone in with chains
    Go when it's time or face prisoner's blames

    I am not your mistake...

    I am not your "fuck" up

    I am not "you"

    And I know you know, too.
    I know in my core I'm letting you down
    And the devils that dance have hell to pay
    I dice with dead men's bones; with baby's teeth I won't play

    She shows you you're wrong; you say she proved you right
    That the omniscient eye saw her setting it right
    Go worship your idols and kill for the queen

    The corpse you're cheering isn't me
    And the lost-lorn you'll mourn isn't: the blind have yet to see.




    Submitted on 2009-05-20 13:38:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I didnt think the language was THAT obscene...

    But yeah, I guess i kind of liked this one, some parts were quite clever. Wether its a poem is open to question but I like to see that your experimenting with words.

    There are blemishes, but on the whole this was actually pretty interesting.


    "Said the mirror to the gazer:
    "You're nothing but me | em tub gnithon er'uoY"

    Like the person before me I thought that was excellent, among other things.

    Once again im not sure youve reclaimed devil dancing, corpses or killer queens, but your on the way...

    Nice

    -Craig


    | Posted on 2009-05-21 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]
      "You're nothing but me | em tub gnithon er'uoY"

    This is just the hotest line ever, I luv how you flipped it. At first I was like, what in the gibberish. But then I realized the effect and, that was just hot.

    red
    | Posted on 2009-05-20 00:00:00 | by red_summer | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This is awesome. I'm in shock of how much awesomeness is in this poem. I love the changing views, and the [intensity? Bare truth, rather than pretty, polite words?] that your use of the curse words shows. When I'm done being in shock, i'll break it down and analize it.

    Thanks for the love on my page! I'm so happy you like my stuff so much1 But I think I have my computer fixed so I can get on ES, it will just be REALLLLLLLYYYY slow. lol.

    Anyway, as always, I love your work, and this one goes on my fave list.

    Lady Rose
    | Posted on 2009-05-20 00:00:00 | by Texan_Poet | [ Reply to This ]


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    174610

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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