Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: shiningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 377
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 385



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsshiningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the world around me spins and i get dizzy
    i might as well just die if you cant see me
    im flying in the sky and youve gone crazy
    but i love you anyway cuz youre amazing
    a million times a day i see you shining
    and i wonder just how long you will be hiding
    i hate everyday that we are fighting
    youll never see me run away because im crying




    Submitted on 2009-05-22 13:34:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its interesting, the decision to use no punctuation at all...You know who else does that? Of course you do! It sounds like a cute rhyming piece about someone you like. It is a littel confusing because you say -if you don't see me and then- we are always fighting... mabey it is someone who just sees the speaker as a friend?
    | Posted on 2009-06-01 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    174698

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bond written by saartha
    Incubus written by monad
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    This written by Chelebel
    Linger written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry