Storm by Frank Maguire

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Submission Name: Storm dots

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Author:	Frank Maguire
ASL Info:	52 / UK
Elite Ratio:	2.26 - 1727/1248/246
Words:	58

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	82
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	529

Description:

Storm

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Seagulls soar so silently
Ray’s reluctantly roam
Dolphins dive deliberately
Herrings hurry home

Tuna, turtle, tadpole too
Speed solemnly somewhere
Run, retreating rapidly
Lamenting long lost lair

Storm skies slowly surging
Tantalisingly towering tall
Breeze becoming brutal
Fragile flowers fall

People praying passionately
Nearly nearing noon
Calmness coming cagily
Super storm striking soon

Submitted on 2009-05-22 15:42:26 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  on this day your words inscribed on my thighs

no more lies no more lies left between us

Hatma
| Posted on 2009-05-24 00:00:00 | by InNoMood44Play | [ Reply to This ]
  i loved it.i thought it was so powerful and so true.flordia has been stormy the past few days and so has life.but the best thing about a storm,the sun(when it eventully comes out) is beatiful.
| Posted on 2009-05-22 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
  You never dissapoint your readers! This is excellent, and not only conveys the message that a huge and terrible storm is approaching, but also conveys the mood. Anyone who has been battered in a savage storm never forgets the experience, and is desperately anxious at the approach of a bad one!

Nice work!
| Posted on 2009-05-22 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
  This is how I would write this:

Bree brusquely becomes brutish;
calmness cumbers cautious
dolphins - doves dive devilishly.

Fragile & frugal flowers forlese
herrings hurdling home
languid laments long lost,
nearly noticing notable
people praying passionlessly.

Ray’s reluctant Rome
runs: retreating resplendently
[like a]
Seagull soaring so saliently,
speeding, someplace seldomly
storming, slowly - skies surging
superstition, swooning stuff.

Tunas, turtles - tadpoles too;
they're Tantalus, tunneling timorously.

That is all.
| Posted on 2009-05-22 00:00:00 | by pedestrianpoet | [ Reply to This ]

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