Description: Inspiration comes at the most random of times. I recentley stage managed a production of Cabaret for a local theater company here on Long Island. Now it was early during rehearsals and I was sitting there while the went over stuff with the choreographer and this poem wrote its self I guess you could say. no particular reason for writing it, it just simply came to me.
so any feedback is greatley appreciated.
Sleeping With Death -------------------------------------------
Scary. Do you just like to write about stuff like this or do you actually feel it? I'm really sorry if you do. Writings like this just don't move me so I can't say if I honestly think it's good or not. I think maybe I'm just too innocent and don't know the darker sides to life. Anyways, I wanted to say thanks for your comment on my piece 'You Are Everything'. I'm sorry you had to go through what you said with your friend. And I will check out the rest of your submissions.
orpheus raises a good question, however i have never seen Cabaret or anything so wouldn't know it if it bit me on the ass...and i got more of a murder-then with final energy, the first victim murders the murderer-feel instead of murder-suicide...but i dunno, just a guess...usually i feel weakened by these types with few words and mostly imagining,but this one was necessary to follow thru with once began...i like the last part where you mention dusk, no wait, its dawn...thats clever and changes a whole perspective. things that happen at night seem dark and ending, whereas murder in a new morning...stains the whole day with foreboding. tension...its very good. latah~april
i normally stay off dark subjects but i'm been thinkging about dying a lot in these past few weeks (but no, i'm not suicidal - just wondering about death)... i liked the ending especially. there are just so many ways to interpret it - 1. this write is about someone who was dreaming about death.. or 2. defining death as a wake up call to a new life... i like the second one better!
This was a fun read for me. I really don't know what to make of it. That last stanza is quite puzzling. I really don't have anything constructive to add. Maybe the next time I read, I'll have something more than, I enjoyed it
likening the cut across the throat as eyes that open was ingeious, props to you for that stylish insert is it a double killing ie murder and then a suicide? though it almost seems like a bad dream, as the death sleep metaphore seems too calm and placid for that meaning?any insight to give?