Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: i Cry...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: StylerDen
    ASL Info:    29/Male/Malaysia
    Elite Ratio:    2.98 - 38/59/51
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 625
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 431



    Description:
       Honey, get well soon... :( im praying for u every moment of my life..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsi Cry...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    what could i do?
    when i see you're in need..
    when you cry out to me,
    when you call on my name.

    what could i do?
    when i see that you're hurt,
    when you're down and confuse,
    when it kills me to live.

    i cry...

    my sweet heart,
    dont ever leave me behind,
    take me with you,
    without you i would die..





    Submitted on 2009-05-28 09:24:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sad but endearing!

    I liked the first two stanzas and waited for the answer. Good set up. "I cry" was unexpected but sweet.

    Not sure if you meant to use "confuse" but may work better with confused. Maybe I don't know.

    Thank you for sharing. Write on!
    | Posted on 2009-05-28 00:00:00 | by Kuuipo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    174903

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Giving written by jjd
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    To written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Linger written by saartha
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry