Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

earning unforgiveness


Author: joezwells
Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 64 /79 /55
Words: 118
Class/Type: Poetry /Sorry
Total Views: 1054
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 728



Description:




earning unforgiveness



im questioned and doubted
criticized and contradicted
ridiculed and emtionally conflicted

i said one thing but ment another
i stood next to you
and flat out lied to your mother

what can i say now to take it back
i betrayed and disobeyed
honesty and trust is what i lacked

standing here now i got nothing to hide
im trying to mend all of the lies
im still standing here, im still right by your side

years may go by
i may never earn it back
wasting time making up for what i lacked
please just know i wont go back


im determined to earn it
mind and soul intacked




Submitted on 2009-05-29 04:19:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  BRAVO! relating to your work is never hard for me to do... you always seem to be so much in them... actually real... they come to life in my mind... bad ass
| Posted on 2009-06-14 00:00:00 | by LisaGullion | [ Reply to This ]
  kudo's this is an amazing write you got yourself. i love how it just flows sooooo well together nothing seems out of place or over used... very nice

Jackz
| Posted on 2009-06-05 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
  If forgiveness is something your seeking hand them this piece. It apparently was written from a heartfelt place and anyoone reading it would be sincerly moved by your honesty.

You may have meant to place a "to" in "standing here now i got nothing hide". Not sure just a suggestion.

Good job all in all.

Kuuipo
| Posted on 2009-05-29 00:00:00 | by Kuuipo | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



174933