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You are my dearest friend... and everything else...

Please, i don't want to know you are sad or anything like that...( i don't want to hear this because it is unbearable ) please find someone if you have not already. You are charming. Go fall in love... i'll be happy.

i don't want to be selfish anymore... i am sorry for i've hurt you from time to time. i don't even deserve you. tell me you are happy. Please....

PS: It may seem double standard if one doesn't know what the situation is... the selfishness of holding someone despite you know you can't do much to realize the hopes... it must be given up. We have to choose between two evils and proverbially speaking it will be nicer to choose the lesser one. ( Fortunately or unfortunately, we are not choosing between even but between two very improbable things )... we could find a way out but we are not even talking.... not even like friends...specially when two people are not even communicating at all... how can one know what's happening?

His shadows can't take his place.... and how can i know whose shadow i am talking to??/

He is shadows... shadows... shadows... pleasant or hazy but most often indistinct. I love him and i am never going to tire of it but i don't know what he is thinking... where he is... so i offer him complete freedom from myself ((he can snatch it himself anyway)) but he should know if he is suffering i am in pain too.

....and above all... i love him and to me love means: making him happy at any cost.