Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: decrepitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    26/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 625/583/217
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 645
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 838



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdecrepitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wanna break down
    fall to the floor
    Curl up in a ball
    and die once more
    Not decomposing
    ravaged by decay
    lost myself
    yet here I stay;
    donít know whatís wrong
    but nothings right
    Iíve grown decrepit
    Just fighting for life
    Wanna pull the flesh
    right from my bones
    take a microscope
    and look for my soul

    And if you donít
    know me
    you might just
    think Iím crazy
    but if you really
    know me
    you know how
    itís so very true!...

    The voices in my head
    Just wonít shut down
    With all my smiles
    being down upside frowns
    could kill myself
    or just better yet you

    but ďrealityĒ calling
    so I guess Iím through.




    Submitted on 2009-05-31 19:33:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I loved this SO much....until the very last 2 lines.
    dk, just might have done it differently?

    the rest of it was amazing though <3.

    And if you donít
    know me
    you might just
    think Iím crazy
    but if you really
    know me
    you know how
    itís so very true!...
    ^probably tattooed inside my head now. pretty sweet <3.

    really descriptive, in your face writing, even moreso than usual and I definitely like ;)

    awesome stuff Bri <3
    love you <3
    | Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      DAM! you have talent right off the bat I knew this was a fast pace read! I like how you went to one though then right onto the next as if we are also the ones feeling what you are writing and feeling as well I am in disbelief that I am the first to comment these people are nuts! Although I must admit the only part I felt that didn't fit or at least needs work on is...

    And if you donít
    know me
    you might just
    think Iím crazy
    but if you really
    know me
    you know how
    itís so very true!...

    Other than this I truly feel its an amazing post!

    Jackz

    Also the ripping of your flesh and searching for your soul AMAZING description LOVED IT
    | Posted on 2009-08-15 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    175015

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Scientia Poetica written by Paradox
    For the heart's soothing written by Jonathan Ryner
    Out of Darkness - Prologue written by PryncessVynom
    The Human Stain written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Box of Song written by BlankSheet
    Proactive written by SincerWritinAsh
    Time written by concrete_rose
    Dying written by KeeperOfLight
    Twisted written by eggshells
    Sad Season written by helenastorm13
    Pit Stop written by SincerWritinAsh
    The Creation written by eggshells
    Send Me written by gwenn sundala
    Poseidon written by yesmole
    untitled written by SincerWritinAsh
    Nowdays written by concrete_rose
    Superstar written by Crestfallenman
    It Follows written by helenastorm13
    Never another you written by concrete_rose
    So What? written by bentnotbroken
    Gods and Monsters written by TheJadedCritic
    Synergy written by monad
    just in time written by mekisha4ever
    The Junk Road written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Free Fire written by yesmole
    Contact written by KeeperOfLight
    God’s Easter Gift written by poetotoe
    Lascivious Desires written by Jonathan Ryner
    To the Voice of Antebellum written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Silver written by Blue7

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry