Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

goodbye silly girl

Author: joezwells
Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 64 /79 /55
Words: 165
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1119
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 1049


last few minutes with my bfffl before she got back on that plane to go to other side of the us :( good times but sad

goodbye silly girl

sitting on the pavenment
smoking out lasts ciggarettes
reminising on the old times
and predicting the new

laughing at our immaturaties
and obstecles overcome
mending all our fall outs
retracing all our fun

sitting in the silence
of what we new was soon to end
not caring about having nothing to say
dancing on the thought of meeting again

planning our next moves
and events that were soon to begin
procrastinating our goodbyes
holding in tears that i knew would have no end

there wasnt enough time
but it was better then not seeing you at all
both have changed for the better
we will catch up with every call

being here without my friend is harder then i thought
but knowing that i have a friend like you is something that cant be bought
the lessons we have learned are ones that cant be taught
all the stupid things we have done wont be forgot

Submitted on 2009-06-01 14:09:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Aw a true friendship can survive anything, and that's what you showed in this piece. I like the way you showed how it feels to see your friend leave and explained it in so little words.

This reminds me of a time with my best friend and how it was while we were growing up.

Thanks for writing something that reminded me of those good times.

| Posted on 2009-06-07 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]
  this poem is at some point true for everyone i think... i loved it... i hate to say goodbye to people who have forever carved themselves it your life... you wrote this perfectly... i felt like i was there and could taste the cigarett and smell the smoke...bravo once again
| Posted on 2009-06-05 00:00:00 | by LisaGullion | [ Reply to This ]
  The imagery was fantastic, the emotion jumped off the screen, but the flow was a bit off. Mostly due to the last stanza. It didn't match. But this was lovely. I've been here before. Just recently. It's hard but good.
Keep up the great work, and I'll keep reading.

| Posted on 2009-06-04 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
  my goodness... I'm the 9th person to view this and yet I'm the first person to comment... their crazy b/c this was an amazing write. I could see everything you were writing i can see its heartfelt.. keep up the good writes

| Posted on 2009-06-02 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?