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    dots Submission Name: Acknowledgmentdots

    Author: thehappyfaery
    ASL Info:    20/cloudland.
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 114/47/22
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 430
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 655

       this is very light in tone, it almost has the sound of a children's poem in my head. i havent written anything in about 3 years. this popped into my head this morning. any critiques would be much appreciated. this is supposed to be centered. peace and love.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    this indistinctive chattering,
    is not just to show he's there,
    oh yes he does quite love to sing,
    and much loves to fill the air,

    but once you look behind his words,
    into his flittering eyes,
    you'll see that he is bearing hurt,
    a most unwelcome surprise.

    so listen, you, quite carefully
    to bountiful thoughts conveyed,
    for while he banters joyfully,
    his fears you can allay.

    display not a reproachful glance,
    but a countenance of delight,
    for this kind man needs just this chance,
    or else he'll take his flight.

    Submitted on 2009-06-01 16:26:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i have it in mind of a female's voice, singing gently. i wanted it to be about anyone really, telling girls that whoever it may be who continues to reach out and care and worry over you, deserves some kindness in return. i wanted the guy to be a lover, yes, but even a good friend or a father. upon posting this, i realized this takes on the guy-lover's voice more than anything. huh. ;
    | Posted on 2009-06-03 00:00:00 | by thehappyfaery | [ Reply to This ]
      Nothing in three years? This sweet after a spell like that, nothing I can say about it, reads like a story and the tone is soft, so you reached out with where you were at internally, successfully. Gently nice nicety
    | Posted on 2009-06-03 00:00:00 | by Andz | [ Reply to This ]

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