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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Of Course...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ashuri
    ASL Info:    15/f/the moon
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 13/37/17
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 62
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 504



    Description:
       Eh I was bored.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOf Course...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Of course I love you as you are...

    And yet of course I still wish you were beautiful...

    Of course I wish you could feel confident when you look in the mirror.

    But of course you don't when you see yourself.

    Through your eyes of course everything you see is wrong...

    Even though of course it isn't always true.

    So of course I can't change you...

    When you are me and I am you...




    Submitted on 2009-06-02 01:26:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Ash!

    Okay, I thought I'd throw out a comment to one of your poems. Alright.

    Well first off, I'd like to say that it's short and sweet, and that the subject was mysterious until the end, which keeps someone reading your lines. It's a little off since you said the phrase 'of course' in every line except for the last one, I don't know if you meant to do that or not, but it's not really that bad of a blip. I thought it was pretty deep to only be a few lines and stuff...

    All in all I rank it a success. So good job.

    ~Silver~
    | Posted on 2009-07-03 00:00:00 | by silverpen | [ Reply to This ]



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