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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Jonquilsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Andz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 252/106/47
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1197



    Description:
       WC junkies Methadone program


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJonquilsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is beauty in stabilised ruins;
    rusting scaffolds, prickling hessian,
    and summer rooms vapoury drapery
    limp before damp frosted glass.

    I canít believe everythingís still here.

    Daphne permeates naked timbers
    porous cracked and powdery bricks;
    roils in on floor draughts up dingy passage ways
    drawn by cold chimneys to each room.

    I canít believe summer hasnít taken them.

    I canít believe the roof still stands
    under four seasons of leaves; from
    that old walnut, bare, girdled tightly by ivy
    murdered by the merciful sun last season,

    it would offer up sweet fruits
    if only someone would beat the cockatoos.
    I lean into the garden to gather up jonquils
    shiver to feel this old place was never left alone.

    I can almost smell raisin toast, cinnamon,
    and hear those children excited by brand new lambs,
    but the breeze nipped the back of my neck, tucking memories
    right back to yesterday when I forgot.

    But I remembered enough to pick the jonquils,
    and bring them to you.




    Submitted on 2009-06-03 17:48:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i still love this. it did my heart good to revisit. thanks .
    J
    | Posted on 2012-06-23 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      i pick the flowers like memories and bring them to you...

    nice ambiguous piece with excellent description...

    it reminds me of old buildings no longer in use..houses, factories and the like...

    i stare at them for great lengths of time and imagine them in full use...all the activity..
    and maybe imagine ghosts in them too..

    they tell great stories...

    this poem does that too..and like in a previous comment...this allows us to picture our own skeleton buildings..you give us just enough, but not too much...

    i look forward to reading more of you.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-14 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i will take narcissus every day of the week and twice on a sunday. do you always smile when given them?

    i have come here a number of times now and instead of commenting i have simply allowed your words to stabilise me - and that suits me well. you will be pleased to know that your words have a calmative effect and their order is such that your last lines induce a sigh.

    i like the picture you have drawn of beneficent ruin: of a place where for the sake of crystalising memory, the walls and moss conspire to allow this - like standing in a time machine that doesn't work - yet still does...

    this is a treat in its educated naivety.
    | Posted on 2009-12-18 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed reading this very much.
    it is very atmospheric but you have carefully, and very cleverly, not told us too much, so we are able to intertwine our own personal story in with the beautiful scene you have set for us and you are able to keep your own personal thoughts close to your chest.

    i also very much like your bishop's palace photograph. it is clear that you are skilled behind the lens.
    thank you for such a lovely read.

    J
    | Posted on 2009-06-06 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      I left you a comment on this at WC as you know...

    I love this kind of descriptive writing. It actually reminds of the ability Hanuman has for taking you somewhere with words. I don't possess that kind of talent.

    One question though, how do all these poems of yours [two] relate to that one picture?

    I love this.
    | Posted on 2009-06-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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