Description: A revise of an old work of mine. I totally rewrote it, I think the first stanza is only one from the original. Looking for first impressions as well as overall assesment. The original is more lyrical. Same title if you want to look that one up too...
Instead of screaming -------------------------------------------
Today my sun gave way to rain
I lost the words to the songs I used to sing
The child in me grew up and moved away
Misery moved into his place
Tracing footprints in the snow
The places I once thought to go
The dreams I had of what we’d be
I’m nothing but these memories
You met me at the door this time
with parted lips poised to speak
But the telling look in you eyes
Was all the message I would need
The ink will run and bleed again
the pen will dance across the page
and cover every inch of space
with lament doggedly phrased
the cylinder and amber flame
the airy pillows colored gray
and borne along by weight of sin
then carried of by tempest winds
I watch the Cremson Eye descend
beseech the One who set it’s place
that when the Eye returns again
It look upon a softer face
Submission Name: Instead of screaming
