Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a soul-less worddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: scardnscared
    ASL Info:    20
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 339/412/258
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 40
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 949



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa soul-less worddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I guess this isn't what I wanted
    a love so bright that it brought me down
    he loved me, much more then I could love him
    and that fact depresses me.
    Can someone tell me that im doing the right thing
    that this won't come back to bite me
    will this be the path for me?
    I looked into his eyes, and whispered goodbye
    grabbed my bags and walked away
    I listened to his screams echo in my mind
    they tried to break me down, but i fought them.
    He called me everynight
    and everytime I answered it was the same.
    Please tell me im ok
    please tell me this was right
    please tell me, anything would suffice.
    Hes gone now
    moved to a better place
    and in my heart their is no pain
    this must be right, I must not be wrong
    I broke his heart, cause im selfish
    im sorry doesnt work anymore
    its a soul-less word.




    Submitted on 2009-06-05 12:43:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! That was deep. I loved it! You seriously have great talent. The poem was brilliant in that the situation was made pretty obvious, yet it kept the reader on their toes to learn what happens next. The word choices were amazing, you truly are amazing. Bravo, and keep up the fantastic work!
    | Posted on 2009-06-13 00:00:00 | by Dreamer5009 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    175172



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry