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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Timber of Shadowsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    21/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 603/832/350
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 72
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 637



    Description:
       Lately I have been getting back into my dark poetry since I got this job at a funeral home, just seeing if I still have it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTimber of Shadowsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blackest stair over the starlight requiem,
    A dream to far from my dearest bereaved loved one, oh what sins redeem.
    The fallen timber of a fallen madness, this illness persists, slithering inside my brain,
    Oh, what a delight may you think of me, how morbidly, I am insane.

    Death blooms upon, like a rose, with many thorns,
    The devils upon my shoulders smoldering me their scorns,
    As we unbury the tide to our ill delights,
    Let us take sin and ethics, and just forget the two tonight.

    Martyrdom,
    My dearest,
    Together again, forever we shall be




    Submitted on 2009-06-07 04:03:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Too*, in the second line.
    I'm not quite sure how to react to the poem. I'm not shocked or offended or anything of the sort. It was soothing. Strangely. Usually people aren't comforted by madness or accepting death unless there's a profound despair or your brain wiring is kind of off.
    It also reads manically. Everything feels broken up. You use fancy words, fancy sentences, but nothing is really engaging. It sounds beautiful, death has a whole new image here, almost poetic, theatrical; but not very influential. I feel this could have a stronger presence if you were to have a story line of some sort (not really as a short story or the sort, just a little more structure and less description.)
    Very nice. I favorite.
    | Posted on 2009-06-07 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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