Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: forgottendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 804
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 500



    Description:
       this is not finished


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsforgottendots
    -------------------------------------------


    i turn around and all i see
    are blank faces looking at me
    i try speak out
    but nothing comes out

    with no one to turn too
    and no where to go
    i suddenly realise
    that i'm all alone

    no one to talk too
    i forget who i am
    no one to talk too
    a blank canvas again

    help me please help me
    i dont want to be alone
    give me someone to talk too
    so i become who i was





    Submitted on 2009-06-08 07:08:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      it is good.
    i would only change one thing...
    "i try speak out
    but nothing comes about"
    but really it is good.
    poetry doesnt have to have rythme scheme.
    but if you do try to use the same rythme scheme throughout the entire peom.

    but im not putting your work down.in fact,im trying to make it better because you have talent.so take it to heart.
    rachel:)
    | Posted on 2009-06-09 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      Well unfinished or not. It still seems coming from the heart. And that's good. It brings back memorys what are not far away from me. I now how you feel. Trust me. But eventually it all changed for me. I started looking everything at the bright side and one day I wasn't alone no more. I just wish the same for you.

    This just poem captured the feelings and said all. Speechless. Made me speechless. This means good, i now ;).
    | Posted on 2009-06-09 00:00:00 | by Lilyan | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    175240

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Genesis written by saartha
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Legends written by poetotoe
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry