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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: forgottendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 762
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 500



    Description:
       this is not finished


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsforgottendots
    -------------------------------------------


    i turn around and all i see
    are blank faces looking at me
    i try speak out
    but nothing comes out

    with no one to turn too
    and no where to go
    i suddenly realise
    that i'm all alone

    no one to talk too
    i forget who i am
    no one to talk too
    a blank canvas again

    help me please help me
    i dont want to be alone
    give me someone to talk too
    so i become who i was





    Submitted on 2009-06-08 07:08:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      it is good.
    i would only change one thing...
    "i try speak out
    but nothing comes about"
    but really it is good.
    poetry doesnt have to have rythme scheme.
    but if you do try to use the same rythme scheme throughout the entire peom.

    but im not putting your work down.in fact,im trying to make it better because you have talent.so take it to heart.
    rachel:)
    | Posted on 2009-06-09 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      Well unfinished or not. It still seems coming from the heart. And that's good. It brings back memorys what are not far away from me. I now how you feel. Trust me. But eventually it all changed for me. I started looking everything at the bright side and one day I wasn't alone no more. I just wish the same for you.

    This just poem captured the feelings and said all. Speechless. Made me speechless. This means good, i now ;).
    | Posted on 2009-06-09 00:00:00 | by Lilyan | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    7. What was unclear?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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