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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You smile like a saint..dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyWorld
    ASL Info:    21/M/IN
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 76/99/87
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 488
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 638



    Description:
       "So, don't say, that everything's working, when everything's broken.. And, you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor." -Dashboard Confessional


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou smile like a saint..dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You say we're okay, but speak for youself
    Because all day today, I've felt like hell
    No rest in the cell that is my mind
    I find strife, when I'm trying to unwind
    And, it's like searching for something
    I know I won't find
    'Cause I'm so low I'm
    Looking up and can't see past your shoes
    So much time, chasing after you
    Having the blues, wishing I could be
    Mad at you, but it never works
    Every moment we're severed hurts
    Sad, but true, being without you
    I can't imagine anything ever being worse.




    Submitted on 2009-06-10 01:26:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is so sad I know how you feel tho. I left someone in another state had to get away from him for my own reasons otherwise one of us would have died and i've found myself i'm moving on and i'll never be mad at him although i've waisted so much time made so many mistakes..
    anyhew this is a great post its short and stright to the point i'm glad you posted this and i hope your feeling better since it was written

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2010-11-08 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      Only one suggestion: strife really doesn't fit is there another word you could use?

    Other than that it's a good peice.

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2009-06-16 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      ok....... simple an plain truth.... this verse is hot, i can easily pick about the flow of this it seems natural.
    | Posted on 2009-06-10 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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