[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Night-time attackerdots

    Author: Dreamer5009
    ASL Info:    16, Male, USA
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 73/53/28
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 579
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 725


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNight-time attackerdots

    I stand in the dark
    Ready to pounce
    My prey makes not a remark
    as I hope my presence I will not announce

    I take 4 silent steps along the balcony
    Aiming with eyes that see true
    as i ready my blade with a poison that knows no remedy
    hoping his life, I'll rue

    I leap through the air, full of grace
    His body crumples beneath me, the blade stuck deep
    I left quickly then, leaving naught but a trace
    As I reach my abode, I begin to weep

    I weep for the soul that was lost
    I weep for the blood that had flowed
    The satisfaction i felt came at a great cost
    a new dawn is announced as the rooster crows

    Submitted on 2009-06-10 12:21:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i did not expect the 4rd verse to go that way, i was honestly expecting maybe happiness or for you to gloat about it. i like how you can feel an almost remorse like feeling for taking a life but at the same time relish in the fact that you actually took a life, if that makes sense lol i hope it does. goodwrite!
    | Posted on 2009-06-13 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      again your vocblary is incredible.

    "yet distant and soft the night breeze is blowing,clouds there are none and clear stars beam mild.God in his mercy,protection is showing,comfort and hope for the poor orphan child."-jane eyre-

    i love this line.your poem remined me of it.
    so props!
    | Posted on 2009-06-11 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]