[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Togetherdots

    Author: Akai_Ame
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 223/181/46
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1635

       I haven't wrote anything in years, so i don't even think i'm good at it anymore. My life is odd right now.... this poem is based off of it. Please comment and tell me what you think about it. maybe i'll start to write more.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Things were looking up.
    We had finally gotten on our feet.
    long had we waited for this,
    finding the consistency we'd missed.

    Together we pulled through disasters.
    held close to the fact that we'd prevail.
    Nothing could do us harm,
    as long as it was you in my arms.

    We never saw it coming.
    never even stopped to ponder.
    it was something that could be,
    the end of you and me.

    Never would I have imagined.
    that Id hear those words.
    feel the anguish and pain.
    its enough to go insane.

    The doctor tried to say it nice.
    she tried to sugar coat it.
    but no matter how it came,
    our lives would never be the same.

    "we're sorry, its cancer."
    "there's surgery and radiation."
    No matter what we'd have to do.
    you promised we'd make it through.

    I believed in you, in us.
    When you held my hand.
    you were my everything,
    my strength when I had nothing.

    Nothing could come between us.
    nothing would destroy love like this.
    however we didn't count on,
    taking on something so strong.

    love is strong,
    yet not enough for this.
    but it's alright
    because we're going to give it all our might.

    Together we will pull through disasters.
    hold close to the fact that we'll prevail.
    Nothing could do us harm,
    as long as it was you in my arms.

    Submitted on 2009-06-10 23:56:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is sad, but it has loyalty, strength, and conviction. Our trials are what makes our bonds even stronger. Your positive nature and a mature love shine through in this, and it gives all of us hope and promotes a silent prayer from us all for your well being (both of you).

    Excellent work! Thank you for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2010-08-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sweet. :) It is also very sad... I hope you're not really going through that, but if you are, I'm really sorry.. I'm not sure I have the words to say for that...

    As for the poem, there were times I could tell you hadn't written in a while. It seemed, at moments, a bit forced and dry. You should take some time to get back in the motion, and relax, so the words will flow out of you like raindrops. Once you have given it the freedom it needs, your writing will return to its former state. And you will enjoy it again. :)

    | Posted on 2009-06-12 00:00:00 | by myownvitality | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Incubus written by monad
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]