Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

When The Pheonix Dies and is Reborn


Author: Old
Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 69 /98 /93
Words: 169
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1166
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1164



Description:




When The Pheonix Dies and is Reborn



Running a great retreat
the demons now advance.
Your flesh they will eat
feasting in their trance.
The King pointing, he reigns.
His great army rages
cutting you to pieces
dividing your many planes.
In laughter, further The King consumes
taking back His ancient runes.

The time is right, the moon is set;
graveyard light bleeds like sweat.
Putrified. It's all been purified.
Everything unworthy died.
Slain weakness of the cities
Lain out to rot
where the worthy can watch.
It looks so pretty.
All the bones sticking up
having a picnic drinking beer from a cup.
Fading back into the room
where the smoke is so thick.
The blood will be flowing soon.
I say the blood will be soon to flow
where the smoke goes.

You knew rebirth and died again.
One thing is certain;
Life dies.
Your eyes will close
to the sunlight.
The King faces his throne
from the sun
so the darkness can be shone.
For money
and for fun.




Submitted on 2009-06-12 19:30:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Wow. Amazing work. I like the theme of the poem, the story it told is great. You are an amazing poet. Each stanza kept you wanting to reach the next one, put in an element of suspense and mystery as well.
| Posted on 2009-06-14 00:00:00 | by Dreamer5009 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



175411