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    dots Submission Name: The dead of nightdots

    Author: Dreamer5009
    ASL Info:    16, Male, USA
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 73/53/28
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 781


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe dead of nightdots

    The moon shines bright
    though it still didn't seem right
    as though something obscured my sight
    but it seemed to be a great plight
    my imagination took flight
    here in the dead of night

    Across the sky, and to the right
    there flew a silent, lonely kite
    it looked for a second as if it might...
    but then, it might just be my fright
    it looked like it had it's own light
    here in the dead of night

    The light gave me hope
    in brightness, it grew
    until I realized, "I'm such a dope"
    for it was no kite, it was you

    You lit up the sky
    it seemed so right
    we should never have to ask why
    here in the dead of night

    Submitted on 2009-06-13 09:59:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "Here in the dead of night" ... I love the way you built this poem. The rhyme "ight" is like a small hammer pounding your third eye until you noticed something!

    And bringing back that rhyme in the last stanza just makes the poem - because that is about the only way to get away with the pounding!

    I hope you get it what a clever verseform this is!

    I think you ought to be confident whenever you make a poem - I think you automatically produce decent verse!
    | Posted on 2009-06-14 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice Peice. I don't do the rhyme thing very often, but you pulled it off okay, I wouldn't rely on it so heavily though. Nice to hear that your writing.

    | Posted on 2009-06-14 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      um..again poetry is your eyes to your soul.
    remeber that!
    | Posted on 2009-06-13 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]

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