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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Entempered Fantasiadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    21/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 603/832/351
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 35
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 762



    Description:
       Oh how faulty to ease the plaugue of sorrow,
    Then amoung the darkest of chimes of our nightmares.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEntempered Fantasiadots
    -------------------------------------------


    Swollen face over the rosary,
    Death peril a flight of fear in turbulant eyes,
    The stairs of the deceased diaries,
    Shall bring forth the shadows of demise.

    The fortune, the pain, the desire,
    Seethe through the sorrow,
    Dig further more into the darkest fires,
    So we can lie tommorrow.

    I hear the screams, I feel their pain,
    I taste there tears,
    And I just can't seem to be the same,
    Doth I lose the life in all these years.

    The rain swollen to heavy to whether,
    The shadows that creep in this hell,
    Can never caress me to better,
    As I live under the torments I have lived to tell.

    Burning to the fevor of nevermore.




    Submitted on 2009-06-13 16:21:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am usually not as picky, but:

    'I taste there tears'-
    should be
    'I taste their tears'.

    And for some reason the first stanza throws me off a bit:

    'Can never caress me to better,
    As I live under the torments I have lived to tell'

    I am quite uncertain of the meaning behind this poem, but it is very beautifully written. The description reminds me of a very dark night, watching ghosts and phantoms around me and wanting to aid in their recoveries and dilemas.

    Overall really awesome job :-)

    | Posted on 2009-06-17 00:00:00 | by dannyshyboy | [ Reply to This ]


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