Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: GUILTY OR NOT?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: edcherry
    Elite Ratio:    6.91 - 197/67/22
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 891
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 1152



    Description:
       A court case of years ago, about which there are still occasional repercussions.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGUILTY OR NOT?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    GUILTY OR NOT?
    Unhappily, I see your face,
    so pained and stressed, wide eyed with fear
    not possible to hide from TV's lens;
    and yet you try to smile and wave
    to whom? --- beyond the camera's eye.

    Those vague, illiterate replies
    you give to them, whose steely minds,
    fine tuned to cut and slice, and probe for truth
    ask questions, cunningly contrived
    to trip a man of simple mind.

    I read and watch the news each day,
    to see and hear the scorn scarce hid
    upon replies of witnesses, and yours,
    to questions of the simple lives
    you live in rural atmosphere.

    How right is it, for those of us
    of educated wit and stance,
    importantly to look, with scornful eyes
    upon the lives of 'lesser' men
    who somehow live as best they can?

    To those of us who sit and judge,
    compassionless at others' pain
    and utter misery, I call to mind
    the old quotation of, "There
    but for the Grace of God, --- go I!"




    Submitted on 2009-06-13 22:58:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this much, it reminds me of all those CNN in-your-tragic-face interviews they conduct with the "common folk" when the children are abducted, etc. And everyone judges whether it is "tragedy" or "entertainment" based on how many teeth there are in the mouth of the person involved, and "how bad hick they tawk" into the camera.

    Very sad, and very true. As for the syllable counts... very good that you can follow that pattern so well. I have some kind of mental problem when it comes to writing in metre (meter? whatever it is) because I need medication to get the metronome out of my head later. LOL, it causes Mad Cow Disease in me or something. I wish I could follow one, it helps you think better and pushes thought expansion, etc., like Tetris I guess... kudos to you for pulling it off! and I admire you for it.
    | Posted on 2009-08-23 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      i appreciate what you say here; it's a cynical viewpoint but one i confess i share, too.

    i also appreciate how you stuck to an 8,8,10,8,8 syllable count per stanza but i feel you get bogged down in it somewhat, especially in regards to inverted syntax like "scarce hid" which comes off unnatural and contrary to the meter you establish from the start.

    i think other comments have already touched upon what i would've said already, so with that, i'll be off.

    sayonara.
    | Posted on 2009-08-02 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]
      These are the kind of writes that I look for on this site, I really like this. It shows a dark display of a bit of saddness and lonliness for some reason, i can't really respond. And some form of aspect of a bit low feeling of a deep depression that I can not put into words. I liked that of the televison that you placed in this poem

    Who is to judge are wrongs and rights though? But only God in some eyes.


    The real question is.

    What is true justification for some instances.

    -Keep in touch.
    | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like your poem, I got so tired of reading love, hate and teenage angst but your poem is very refreshing,
    My wife is a lawyer and you described the process very well.
    You have a great ear for timing and rhythm , something that comes so difficult for me as English is not my first language, but in line 2 you say “not possible”(dumm dumm da dumm) may I suggest “impossible” (da dumm da dumm), it just flow better.(got my 2 cents worth :) )

    good work and Stay well
    Polydectes
    | Posted on 2009-06-25 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]
      an enjoyable poem to be sure... but a few typos.... first u have the yours and others' that was already pointed out but now the spellcheck police are here too... "wittnesses" should be "witnesses"... but as there are no editors here it makes no difference in the flow of the poem... as this is the only thing i see posted of urs.. i would say its a good start to a enjoyable time of reading ur poetry... u have been stalked!
    | Posted on 2009-06-22 00:00:00 | by trent | [ Reply to This ]
      We will never know whether he is guilty of the crime or not, if the trial seems unfair ... and the process of intimidating and outwitting a simple person hardly seems fair!

    It just about does take a poem to say that clearly; this no personal complaint but an engagement with the meanings of all of us.

    I think that is very much what poetry is for, and so I like this poem.

    Two typos or errors: yours and others'. (The apostrophe police are not to be feared, I guess, until we need to please an editor!)
    | Posted on 2009-06-14 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I just happened to read a message you left on someone else's page, and since you also emailed me and left a message on my page I thought I'd drop by your page - I like what you have written here but now I worry that you are gonna leave ES? Please don't leave us here, we are all one big writing family and it's very hard to lose one of our loyal members!
    Stick around my friend, you never know what we may come up with next; and I hope you will email me again!
    God bless!
    love Melissa
    | Posted on 2009-06-14 00:00:00 | by whiteangel | [ Reply to This ]
      you know what, it seems like i'd need to see the case. (got a link?) to formulate any kind of opinion on the poem as far as my.......perspective of it's statement.

    it doesn't seem to really point guilt or innocence but plead compassion to the masses. it's interesting that it conveys that message; it might be what i take as it's worth aside from whatever i might gain from seeing the back info as well.

    but really from all i can tell it's a very compelling poem and if you have a link i'd like to come back again.

    it's respectable that it speaks in terms understandable to most. concideriding it is something objective and spoken about someone already in the hot seat, it almost speaks it's own truth and sets the tone for what it's going to say. again this is all without the actual case. still good work, really made me empathize for the defendant.
    | Posted on 2009-06-14 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    175455

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    prison written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The World written by jjd
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry