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    dots Submission Name: what am i supposed to do?dots

    Author: joezwells
    Elite Ratio:    3.81 - 64/78/54
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 791
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 940


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhat am i supposed to do?dots

    i gave you my heart
    everything i could
    our relationship fell apart
    you said you never would

    you looked me in the eyes
    told me i was your everything
    my eyes now filled with tears
    lookin in yours nothing is clear

    where did you go?
    why wasnt i there
    i feel so low
    i just want you near

    you lied and i still care
    losing you was my only fear
    my heart says no
    but my mind challenges a dare

    you didnt even fight
    didnt try to make it right
    i now lay alone tonight
    this bottle takes me a flight

    mind spinning crazy
    i feel nothing but pain
    my swollen eyes stare dazing
    am i the one to blame?

    what more could i have done
    i gave you my all
    i truley believed you were the one
    now whos going to catch me when i fall?

    Submitted on 2009-06-16 02:01:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I found something here that is down to Earth and easy for many people to relate to. A lot of people write the broken-hearted, pain pieces but don't begin to accomplish this.

    "you looked me in the eyes
    told me i was your everything
    my eyes now filled with tears
    lookin in yours nothing is clear"

    This was the first stanza that struck me! "Lookin in yours nothing is clear" is a place where a lot of people have found themselves and when reading this line will find themselves dwelling back in that moment when they felt the same way.

    Lines like "you lied and I still care" help to paint the picture as well as the reference to hitting the bottle while laying in the bed alone. This is simple yet powerful...And that's the type of poetry that speaks most!

    Brian Poem
    Spoken Word Is Alive!
    | Posted on 2009-06-16 00:00:00 | by Brianpoem | [ Reply to This ]

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