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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: If You Mean Itdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kaygrl
    ASL Info:    19/female/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    2.31 - 153/196/213
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 53
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 681



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf You Mean Itdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I’ll turn my back and pretend not to care,
    But I’m always looking over my shoulder…
    Tell me to my face you don’t care about me any more,
    Tell me to go away and ever come back.
    Tell me to leave and that you don’t want to see or hear me ever again,
    Tell me you don’t feel a thing still for me.
    Tell me that and mean it,
    And I’ll move on.
    I’ll forget you and delete you,
    I’ll date and try,
    I’ll look past my pain and try not to think of you.
    And at night when I’m sleeping, I’ll try not to dream of you.
    But tell me first and mean it. Really mean it.
    Tell me you hate me.




    Submitted on 2009-06-16 09:13:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Again, i feel left wondering at your piece, although this one, yes, its more fitting.

    And im really starting to feel like i dont make sense here, but what is there left to do but carry on?

    And although this one carries more emotion, it still feels lacking to me, as if i could feel it building, and i was waiting for the punch of the next line, and i only got another blank.

    I am a huge fan of gut wretching retorical questions, and the more tears i cry at a piece, the better it is.
    But that is only me, and dispite my overall negative comment, this is actually a good poem.

    I just feel as if you have so much more to give, if you really try.

    It takes a strong person to be a dedicated poet, give it all you've got.

    i look forward to reading more by you in the future.

    Channie
    | Posted on 2009-10-28 00:00:00 | by dthforeverpain8 | [ Reply to This ]
      ... I used this to tell a freind to leave me..
    I used it to tell him, that if he wanted to i would forget him..
    It wouldnt be easy, but i would try.
    :(
    I will miss him..
    But i love this work..
    Thank you for sharing it.
    | Posted on 2009-06-17 00:00:00 | by GrIm:)ReApEr | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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